Unreal

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Seeing everything falling to pieces, being both angry and confused, spending so many nights restlessly thinking about us. Really.  Words cannot describe what my heart is going through at this moment.

This post is addressed to you, that specific person whom I have in mind. Having known you for more than a year now, I could not possibly imagine that we would come to this point one day and I know that things were not always perfect between us but I somehow thought that you would realise how I feel about you.

But oh man! How wrong was I!

First, let me put it clearly, the blame is not on you.

Spending time with you allowed me to learn more about you. Yeah if I had to describe you in a few words, you are a truly amazing person, cute, quite smart,ambitious, and above all, very mysterious, something which always made me wonder what was on your mind at every moment. Months went by so quickly and we became close, but not close enough for me to get to kiss you or hold your hand, which I now bitterly regret.Then came these times where you would choose not to talk to me, either because you were too busy talking to other people, or simply ignoring me, but it’s alright, I guess I understand why.

Remember those times where you requested my help and I was there for you? I keep asking myself where you were when I was down or when I badly needed you? Frequently coming up with excuses saying that you had things to do obviously started making me doubt your sincerity, after all, why would someone help you if he or she does not care about you?

So many unanswered requests from my part suddenly allowed me to realise that, all this time, you were using me because of my smartness and independence for your own ends.

*sigh*

Now that you are telling me that you have other plans on mind which do not have us in them, it is an obvious sign that we were just a temporary thing and that you were already thinking of moving on. What will happen next? Nobody knows.

To sum this up, it is simple. Everything between was just an illusion. False signals were being exchanged without anyone of us taking the time to talk it out. We now need to sort it out and decide what to do.

Wish you a good night.

~ signing off ~

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